Literary Criticism: Race, Psychoanalysis, and Semiotics THEORIES
Ok, got it. I’m gonna start with the thesis so I get a sense of where you’re going with the argument. One thing to note about this particular thesis in the way that it is worded — it’s about the cause and not the use of the hashtag: Hashtag #BlackLivesMatter reshapes Americas’ persona by revealing the injustices within America, as well as showing a diverse country in the making.
So the hashtag has been used by certain organizations and then individuals for consciousness-raising, but has the use of hashtag done more than that as a call to action? And is this a disaggregated call to action because it’s participatory culture? What has the backlash in use of this hashtag added to this narrative? Has the hashtag been used for purposes other than promotion of the cause? has it been co-opted?
I think asking those questions help to say focused on the *use of the hashtag* instead of the cause behind it.
Double check your entire draft for any use of first person and second person ( I me you our us we) — this is super important — just do a search for the terms and flag them to revise the sentence
para 3: (“With the use”)
Hmm, this is about the cause? and why do these lives “deserve” recognition? This is where you have to back out of it a little bit and not be a proponent of the cause and ask about how the hashtag is being used
also, stay away from “it can be perceived” because that creates ambiguity and someone can dismiss your argument because who is this unknown group that created that perception? re-word this or unpack the group that’s designating this power
Article titles use only quote marks around, not italics — easy fix
If you are quoting something that already has quote marks in the quoted material, use single quote marks for inside and stay with your double quotes for the outside:
The quote marks here are somewhat confusing about what’s your words and what is being quoted:
“These books rarely discuss the movement’s textured demands, instead of reducing the students’ political message to the simplistic mantra “peace and love.” This collective amnesia should be deeply troubling to serious students of politics and culture.” (13).
Be sure that you normalize Black – capital B in every instance
period goes inside quote marks – easy fix
How does the Delwiche quotes relate to the Emma tweet? You might consider putting that tweet up front in the paragraph – analyzing some of the language and then providing Delwiche to support the analysis. Right now, Delwiche is being used to support the cause
How does Willbern connect in this paragraph?
Remember, go through every topic sentence — are you providing a piece of the argument? almost all of them are statements right now — and I think that’s because this is still not quite an argument about the use of the hashtag.
