The Rising Rate of Divorce and The Outturn of Separation  

The Rising Rate of Divorce and The Outturn of Separation

 

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Alexis Doran

 

Divorce rate as of last year declined yet the duration of current marital status shows that 77% of divorces among people happen between the ages of 20-39. According to Joshua Fluke, being married at 20 and then being divorced four years later had a huge impact on his future idea of being married once again. Couples marrying later are more mature and their lives are much more stable so therefore in Joshua’s case he knew he had made a mistake committing to someone at such a young age and he is now staying away from the idea of marriage. At the age of 20 he had bought a plane ticket to Finland with his student loans to see this girl he had met online once he got there, he had thought they had hit it off right from the start. Now back home in Atlanta, Georgia Joshua being so young had believed that she was the one for him and that’s when he had decided to pack all of his things and continue his life in Finland with this girl while still in college. As soon as he arrived, they had gone to the courthouse with the girl’s parents and got married, getting his visa was the next step that he had taken while being there and started applying to university’s in Finland. He had passed an exam to get into this college and began attending, while doing so he and his now ex-wife had moved once again to the Russian border. Joshua began to realize and move forward from the “honey-moon” phase and he knew that the environment he was in was not for him, He barley understood the language, struggled making any friends while living in Finland and he did not get used to the different lifestyle. Joshua had stated “I thought I knew the person I had married but I was wrong” everything began to go down-hill and financial problems set about in their relationship since he was still attending a university and she was working providing for them. Joshua’s wife started to mentally abuse him by saying things like “why are you so dumb?”, “I feel like I am in jail being married to you” and “I wish we never got married”. All of these remarks his wife began to put upon him and all of the conflict and arguing in the marriage after four years is what resulted into them getting a divorce.

Joshua was meant to influence many people by telling his story and getting to let everyone know how getting married at a young age is not the smartest idea. His story is very convincing as well as knowledgeable to know what you might be getting yourself into with in a relationship like his; since he moved to an entirely different atmosphere from where he is used to being and starting a completely opposite life of what his once was before makes it convincing that people in situations like his or something similar should just be aware. Casual connections between the two no longer exist and this is due to the distance from where they both are now, Joshua moved back home to Georgia and his ex-wife still remains in Finland. Years later after the divorce they are civil with each other and he still cares for her family and reaches out on occasion.

Retrieved from the Chicago Tribune, Heidi Stevens was congratulated on her divorce and she states that she will never forget that moment. She was getting a cashier’s check from her loan specialist to bring to the closing on her townhouse, and the lady had asked why she was selling. She then began to explain that she was getting a divorce and after presenting this to the women she was quick to congratulate Heidi. Being shocked at the fact that someone had just said this the lady then precedes to say, “it usually means a better life is ahead”. Heidi had agreed yet thought to herself that divorce is messy, painful and expensive which is something that should not be glorified yet an eye toward the happier future can keep you from getting bogged down in revenge fantasies and other toxic energy expenditures.”Accept who your ex-spouse is and isn’t and move forward without wanting revenge and without anger” says Heidi. She feels that this is worth telling people whom are going through a divorce and need someone to pick them up and to think positively about it. Heidi wants people to know that divorce is ok, and many people go through it and because she found light and a better future coming out of a marriage that was not good for her, she wants others to know there is a brighter future ahead.

Heroes from the story I had come across would be both the loan specialist and Heidi because if the women had not said anything positive about her divorce she might not have looked at it in the perspective of how the lady saw it while, Heidi now takes what she was told and goes out to other women and men going through a divorce and giving them all of the knowledge and reassurance of a better life after. The moral of the story is that marriage does not define someone’s happiness and if a person is going through divorce that there is a light at the end of the tunnel no matter what. It could be years later or it could even be a few months after, everything happens for a reason and even though a marriage did not work out for whatever reason may be there is still a future and that person is the one to determine whether it be positive or not.

Both Joshua and Heidi’s stories are far different from each other, Joshua was married too young and nothing positive came from it while Heidi’s marriage just did not work out, yet she has a positive point of view of everything. Joshua’s story was much more detailed and had more to it and more of a back-round of how everything went down and it had more of an impact on what I think about marriages and the rising rate of divorce. Heidi’s story was just about positive out looks on the future after divorce which is impowering yet was not as intriguing. Some things to look at are that couples that are having children later on can contribute to a more stable relationship which Heidi and her ex-husband did not have children later on into their previse marriage it was much sooner.

In conclusion, Divorce is a problem that affects thousands of couples every year; in fact, over 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. In many divorce cases, domestic violence, substance abuse, financial problems, marriage at a young age, conflict and arguing and a lack of commitment are all reasons behind divorce. It is for these reasons why divorce is something that has to be discussed openly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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